Saturday, January 20, 2007

Monkey On a Tiger

"Under an accumulation of staggerers, no man can be considered a free agent. No man knocks himself down; if his destiny knocks him down, his destiny must pick him up again." - Charles Dickens.

In a "God Fearing" nation, any one who picks up the Davidian task of challenging the will of God and believes strongly in free will as opposed to destiny, is usually sneered upon.

I have always believed in destiny as a tyrant's authority for genocide and a procrastinators excuse for failure. Have always strongly defended the ability of man to choose his own destiny by acts of free will.

And then a perspicacious guide said- Free Will is like a Monkey riding a Tiger. Exercising your choice gives you a feeling that you are the one in command of the beast .

The Oracle ordained Neo in similar fashion. Is it really all there in an unwritten code? Were you and I destined to meet? I had no choice in being there at the same time? My choosing to fall in love with you was but a vision that you someone out there had recorded in the time machine?

Where are you taking me, next , then?

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Reluctant Saint- The Genesis

The Bard once said : Be True to Thine own Self.

What if My True Self is a Lazy Procrastinating Despicable Alcoholic Selfish Chronic Lying Promiscuous Pompous Jerk?

Ok, take your pick. Insert your own flattering adjectives. You get the picture.

Should we continue being “ourselves” like the whole advertising industry would like you to believe or do we strive for our Greatest Self like the Self Help Gurus would want us to do?

Where does the line merge between being yourself and reaching out for greatness?

They do not mean to tell me that I should give up what is “bad” and embrace what is “good”, do they? That would be horribly judgmental of them. A vice they warn you against( tongue firmly in cheek).


My True self wants to scream at the maniacs on the road who do not value life. In all honesty, it wants to strangle them. My striving-to-be-a-better-self takes a deep breath when he sees a mad truck driver almost run over a scooter-ist.

My True self feels the urge to splurge on the new 20 inch i-mac. My shun-the-materialism-and-look-at-the-gifts-from-nature-self gently tells me to smile at the birds chirping and not Louis Armstrong as he wafts through the connected Bose speakers.

Mr. True self wants to devour that extra helping of tiramisu after a sinfully delicious meal. No prizes for guessing what the Healthy-Body-Equals-healthy-mind-self makes me do on a cold winter morning as I hit the gym.

TrueSelf glances surreptitiously at the Jessica Alba look-alikes that abundantly dot his field of vision. Greatest self would be the perfect husband. Nothing would tempt him ever. Self-today settles for chiding self. And lusting for Beautiful minds instead.

TrueSelf feels good for his friends when they buy a new Mercedes. Oh yeah, who are you kidding, Mate? You Want that bigger and better SUV yourself. Greater self would really feel Happy for Bestfriend and not turn Green.

TrueSelf is lazy about filing taxes. TrueSelf is afraid. Very Afraid. That he does not feel the joy in life. He is horribly dis-interested in People. Great self takes joy in every moment. Makes every day count. Every Moment Happen.

TrueSelf is proud of being able to tell the difference between Wrong and Right. Greater self would not judge people. True self feels immensely delighted in being able to help someone else. And conveniently erases from memory the moments when He has failed his people. What would GreaterSelf do?

They say a Saint has been able to rid himself of all Sins. Reluctantly, I tredge upon that path. My True Self keeps beckoning me-Just Do It, it says

Monday, January 15, 2007

Technorati Profile

Hymen Rupture

For years I have observed blogs. Been fascinated by some, and increasingly bored by others. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride- I always kept posting comments on others' blogs.

Encouraged by one such friend, I decided to lose my blogging virginity today and decided to let my soul bleed here.

I've heard the first time is difficult. Sure is.
The extended foreplay that blogger.com made me go through did not heighten my senses, it only made me go a little dry on creative juices.

Dig right in, shall we. Here goes:

Welcome- It is no accident that you are reading this. I am making black marks on white paper. These marks are my thoughts, and although I do not know who you are reading this now, in some way the lines of our lives have intersected... For the length of these few sentences, we meet here.

It is no accident that you are reading this. This moment has been waiting for you, I have been waiting for you. Remember me.

We shall meet more often.

Dawns and Dusks

This morning, while talking to a friend , the conversation drifted to relationships. And how things can become.

I'll post the conversation first and ask for your comments then..

me: do u realise that the dawn of a relationship is usually its most beautiful time?
me: and as the sun rises..you see things with a clarity, minus the halo
me: and suddenly u realise ...sunrises have a thing abt them
me: which makes u feel closer to God
her: hmmm
me: and in the high noon...
me: u start sweating
me: and a melancholy sets in by the evening
her: hmmm
me: its only when u can see thru it
her: can enjoy the dusk...and the nightfall
me see through what?
her: oh ok
me: which brings with it glorious lovemaking
her: oh 
me: and a serenity to sustain you...and make u long for all the dawns and dusks together
her: ah ok
her: i think it makes sense
me: coz u know then...that the person can survive the harshest glare
me: the bare nakedness of every flaw being exposed
me: most of us....we chase only dawns

The initial days of a relationship bring with them a heady feeling- the giddiness of unbirdled joy, the adrenaline rush of discovery. You are at your best, thrilled to have found that someone you longed for.
As the dust settles, some relationships become boringly monotonous and some gloriously wonderful.

What would you rather have? The intial phases- lots of times; or run the risk of either the relationship going sour, and your memories about it bitter?

Tell me.